AMMU's meanings

 Seriously dad us it necessary to prove that I am a failure.......I already accepted that but when you remind me I feel my life worthless....just wastage of oxygen......I am sorry for expecting more than I deserve  from you.......I am sorry for being burden for you.....hope this burden gets off of you soon..... Might be I am becoming a succer for love.....but the reality is I started hateing love ........might be my love for me is also drowning somewhere......hope so that I can love myself.......

 Feeling out of space.........just wanna escape the situation........I am just uncomfortable.......I can't tag along with the conversation........the conversation isn't harmful but feels irritated.....felt like I am missing myself.....I guess it's been long time communicated with others......it felt weird I just wanted to run away..........might be finding myself.......... But whatever it is feeling is very uncomfortable I just let it slide......it's really bad

 Today August 1 2022 I generally forget all my dreams........most of them I can't even remember for 10 mins after my wake up......but today....whole day I have been haunted by the dream......I myself in my life I wanna give my parents a huge mansion that is one my fantasy which I know can never happen .....but in dream I saw a mansion my mom dad were busy in decorating adjusting the whole setup of house......it was A bigass mansion.....with a large living room....as my mom's wish there was swing in living room....simple one with some orangish brown cushions and roll pillows....I remember talking to one of my friends about some house designs.......