AMMU's meanings

 Why do everything I love is always far away and our of reach for me and I am always not eligible for anything I wish for.....I wanna end this....such a cursed fate I have ......loving something is always a bad thing ....I guess I have done a terrible mistake to suffer through all these,hope I can go back and undo all my wrong doings.....please god give me a chance to correct me.... please let me know why I am at mistake, where I am at mistake....I just wanna give up on everything

 The emotion which I refuse to take....and I don't want anyone to pity my loved ones ....I hate it when some pities me.....plzzz I don't wanna listen to pity in my life

Why does it effects you.....you weren't there with me at that time but everytime you holds me accountable for it....I don't wanna explain myself......why every one need explanation to understand my affection towards them  Why can't they search my face for a possible answer and could find it.....I can't explain you everytime you think about it If it goes on ....I doubt your love for me .....if I had been any further you would have treated me like a sinner .....like air in your life..... I don't need you if this still effects you

 Why every action of mine need to be paid with a part of my soul which I don't wanna afford Why do I need to explain ......why can't something be unconditional ...... Why do I have to face the consequences everytime ......why..... Why no one belives me....why do I need to explain  myself ..........can't i find some love without conditions...... ....without doubts .....true to myself......

Even knowing the reality of this world I still wanted to stay in my imaginary bubble  but someday it has to be broken  The one I am trying to do is destined to be a no , no mattet how much I tried I can never  It's hurts so much just to digest the reality that I can never be your proud daughter how many efforts I invest into it, one day I am just not part of you  I promise I will never make you suffer for now on even if has to take me to path of death

 Little things........when noticed effects more......when not noticed are not things ....      Might be it's just a little attention to a picture with me or as small as asking abt dinner ......          I know I shouldn't but still it hurts when I crave for your attention when I crave for the lost love from you......            I do a lot of things just to fit in picture with you .....I slave myself sometimes thinking may be I reduce the hatred I build up myself and to break the invisible walls             At the end of day it's just that I am hurt and you dont even know.......never you knew I was hurt ....might be you knew sometimes but I guess ignored because it's not important....it is this .......I am hurt

 Happiness really have a bad fate it's life time is so small and bitterness of harsh reality shows it's true taste once again  I am the one at fault shouldn't have been this dumb and burden to my parents hope this weight on them doesn't persist long enough